Watching the NHL playoffs has served as a reminder of just how bad the Montréal Canadiens were this season. I’m not sure how long they would have lasted against Colorado. Oh wait, yes I do :
Once I met one of the Sutter’s (not Darryl) in an elevator. He was at least 50 years old and just huge. I’m 6 feet tall but the man towered over me. I tried to start a conversation with him, and he looked at me like he had no interest in anything other than a body checking competition. He silent-stare-body-checked the conversation into oblivion with that one look.
Normally I like writing some sort of “best forward, or defenseman, or MVP, or best goalie” wrap up to the year, but this year that makes me want to cry in my beer. Instead, I’d prefer to enjoy the season past in the sense that it’s over, and revel in our good fortune at having the #1 pick in a draft with no consensus #1 player. Being #1 is still better than being #3.
And so, in an effort to help everyone just step back from the firing line and laugh at ourselves a little, I present :
The Not Too sHabbies—A lighthearted look at the year that was for those plucky Montreal Canadiens. This is a never ending series of awards that can be given out at any time over a season. I’m sure many of you out there in Habland have your ideas too. Submit them in the comments, I can’t wait to hear them.
And now without further ado:
The Not Too sHabbies – Part I
The (Fast) Forward Of The Year : Joel Armia wins the award for the least hockey played while playing hockey. He was on the ice. At least, the stat sheet says so.
The Not-Named-Nick Award (for the player most not named Nick Suzuki/Ritchie/Cousins/Bonino) goes to : Laurent Dauphin. Congrats on not being named Nick, buddy! You nailed it all season and never disappointed once by being named Nick.
The Canadiens (V)ery (N)early MVP : Jonathan Drouin – He was the best player on the team for the first 10 games of the season. It was his shining moment, where he put it all together and finally became the scoring leader Serge Savard projected him to be. And then, a puck to the head. COME ON!!!
Defenseman Of The Year : Patrice Brisebois??? Oh, so sorry. Chris Wideman. Wait, is that really… No, no it’s not a typo. Someone thinks he outplayed Angry Jeff. Really? I mean… I suppose he did… Congratulations on the extension buddy. Top point getter on defense… Yep…
Underperformer Of The Year : THE FIRST POWERPLAY AND ITS COACH.
Rookie Of The Team : William Lagesson wins the award for newest teammate. Not best new player, but he was the newest guy. In Montreal new is good. Hey Will! Did you hear? You’re good!