Oops There Goes Another Rubber Tree Plant…

Former Hab Sergei Kostisyn does not enjoy Country music . Montreal Canadiens ‘ fans do not like Sergei Kostisyn . Unfortunately for the team , playing last night ‘s game in reverse like a country and western tune  – won’t get them anything back . Especially the two points.

In a reoccurring nightmare , the Habs continue to squander precious points against sub par teams . Florida , Columbus and Toronto have all pilfered a collective total of six points from Les Canadiens ‘ point total . Six points added to the twenty – five that the team currently possess would give them bragging rights as the best team in the league . It would also give them a fifteen point cushion over the eighth and final play – off spot. Come March – that six point difference will be the same and if the Habs fall as they swing from branch to branch through their Western Conference road swing , they may find themselves looking up instead of down as they chase their play – off dream .

Like a stud trying to pick up a chick at the local bar , the Habs cannot deliver the right lines and end up alone on the sofa while the opposing team members celebrate at an all night buffet . There are two possible reasons for this . One – Jacques Martin ‘s system is not rigged to deal with a systemless team  and two ; the Habs are like a bunch of older men without Viagra – they just can ‘t get it up for a lower team . Granted it is hard , no pun intended , for a team to ‘ rise ‘  to the occasion after playing a team such as Philadelphia , yet this should not be an excuse . After all – they are paid good money to play hard every game and not just the ‘ big money ‘ ones.

Jacques Martin must also realize that there is a dude named Auld waiting in the green room and that no matter how well Mr . Price is playing – sometimes a team needs a change of scenery to avoid settling into complacency . A couple married for twenty years will not stay married if they watch CSI Miami night after night . Carey Price is no David Caruso yet no viewer could contend with former cowboy and Dallas star Larry Hagman seven nights a week either . Putting a bounty on Price ‘s head like they did with Hagman ‘s character – J. R Ewing , is also not the answer to boast team moral and obtain higher ratings. The Habs have P. K Subban for that .

Subban , Montreal ‘s first potential candidate for the Calder Trophy since Michael  Ryder , has drawn the wrath of the Philadelphia Flyers and according to Flyer Mike Richards – the entire National Hockey League. According to Richards , P.K is too cocky for a rookie and needs to be taken down a notch . Richards swears it will not be him who does it , yet if Subban keeps up with his incessant ‘ yapping ‘ and general confidence level – someone in the league will teach him a precious lesson.

Reggie Dunlop , the coach of the Charleston Chiefs in the movie Slapshot , put a bounty on the head of Tim McCraken during an on – air interview . The G.M of the team played by the late Strother Martin , nearly p**d his pants when he heard that one of his players did such a thing . Paul Holmgren , the G. M of the Flyers is probably smiling from ear to ear knowing that his team members are cut from the same mold as former Flyer Bobby Clarke  although when it comes down to it – much softer.

Richards ‘ comments and his inabilty to back them up with his fists , make him an excellent

choice to play Ned Braden in a remake of Slapshot . Braden was the elite scorer on the Chiefs who became the only player to not go along with coach Dunlop ‘s violent, take no prisoner approach to the game . Braden went on the air with Chief radio broadcaster Jim Carr and denounced fighting in the game and informed everyone that he would not be attempting to take MCcraken’s head off. Ned then went on to pull off Carr ‘s toupee and attack the cosmetic ugliness of that as well . Carr ‘s response ; ” Well I may be bald, but at least I’m not chickensh** like you! ” is exactly what Subban and Holmgren should be saying to Richards.

When a player with Subban ‘s talent and enthusiasm enters the league , jealousy among other teams ravishes the league . Subban , according to teammate Hal Gill does not say anything disrespectful to opposing players although he does yap at them quite a bit . Richards ‘ take on all this is that Subban must earn respect first before he can do these things . Geez Mike…? You mean like Sean Avery ? This is the most ludicrous thing said since John Lennon infomed the world that   ‘ the Beatles were bigger than God ! Richards even goes so far as saying that Subban ‘s ” Spineramas ‘ are also a sign of cockiness and that othe NHL ers do not like it at all. Okay Mike , you may as well dig up Danny Gallivan ‘s body and parade it form Nashville to New York for inventing the word. Why not punch out Wayne Gretzky for setting the tone for Crosby ‘s behind the net antics while you are at it . If you still have some energy left over , Bobby Orr is around – hunt him down for skating endless loops around opposing teams night after night .Watch out though , you may trip on his Art Ross and Norris Trophies along the way.

Subban plays the same style as Doug Harvey , Bobby Orr and Paul Coffey . Three players that would not allow Mike Richards to sit in at their annual Poker game. Until Richards realizes this and sets his sights and scowls on someone in his own league , someone like Justin Bieber for example , he should shut his mouth or drop his gloves when the Habs and Flyers meet on Monday night .

Meanwhile , back at the ranch , the Habs must put aside their setback to the Predators last night and prepare for another game against an inferior team on Saturday night as the Leafs head into town . Carey Price should be given a rest as the upcoming road trip will require Price at his best as the team swings through the West .Price also does not need the extra pressure of having to beat the Leafs. Alex Auld is quite capable of doing that especially with Yannick Weber added to the lne – up. Weber has been called up from Hamilton and will add a new dimension to the up and down power play of the Canadiens . The Habs will be ornery and have proven since last year ‘s play – offs that they have a lot of character . Although the Toronto team is not near as good as Philadelphia or Vancouver – this is a big game and the Habs have not had a problem with big games…

Going backwards of course.

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