Celebrating The Montreal Canadiens’ Somewhat Award Worthy Performances With: The Not Too sHabbies!
By John Wiens
The Comeback Award goes to Jeff Petry, who looked like he lost a step for 78 games but found it with 4 games to go. I mean, he really put a licking on those Rangers! It’s never too late to start!
The Naked And Afraid Award goes to all the goaltenders of the Montreal Canadiens. Sometimes I wonder what it felt like out there alone on the ice floe, surrounded by big men armed with sticks flying past you at 40 mph. Sounds terrifying. Congratulations to Sam, Jake, Cayden, and the other brave men whose team magically transformed into flopping fish, leaving them stranded on a frozen island for a thrilling week of food poisoning and dysentery. Gentlemen, we salute you.
The No Rebuild for ME Award goes to Artturi Lehkonen who had a career year and played his way onto the Stanley Cup favorites. Hope you hoist it this year, bud. We miss you, but there’s no way the team can afford your 5 million per year salary next season. Not with *gestures at the salary structure of the Habs*.
The Worst Joke of the Year Award goes to every single one of us who made fun of the name Pitlick. Nice players in the family, lots to like. Oh just go ahead and say it already. Look at that bunch of …… Got it out of your system?
The Most Chant-able Name Award goes to Sam Montembeault. I can’t wait to hear “Here we go, Montembeault” every game he plays next season. He should.
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