The Pierre ‘ Newhart ‘ Show

Hello – my name is Ilya Kovalchuk . This is my brother Andrei and this is my other brother Andrei.

I am from Russia. I was drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers where I went on to become a star in an obscure market . I scored 672 points in 670 games with Atlanta and then New Jersey. I caused a bit of a stir when I signed with the Devils before the 2010 – 11 season. Looking back , it was a mistake. New Jersey have always prided themselves on defence and they asked me to do the same. My offense suffered as did the team. We were going nowhere and stumbled along until former Canadiens great Jacques Lemaire stepped in and salvaged some respectability.

I was miserable.

I missed the atmosphere of a hockey city and my wife and kids missed Russia. I needed to be an offensive player once more and be a part of a ‘ home country ‘ atmosphere. During the All – Star break , I spoke from my heart to Lamorello , the Devils G. M , and my friend Andrei Markov in Montreal.

Markov prompted a discussion of how it would great for me to play alongside of him in Montreal next season. He told me of how much Montreal reminded him of Russia and how outstanding the fans were. He went on to say that fellow countryman Andrei Kostistyn also enjoys playing there but is afraid that the Habs will get rid of him. His play has been inconsistent and he believes that with a great offensive player – he will become the star that the Canadiens hoped he would. I contacted Lamorello and dictated the information to him and asked him for a trade that would make everyone happy. He informed me that he would do his best.

The Devils’ boss then contacted Pierre ‘ Newhart ‘ , the Habs’ G. M , and the ‘ puck ‘ was in motion…

The Habs at the time were a play – off bound team with a strong defensive foundation. They had future Hall of Fame net-minder Carey Price and a great young offensive Rookie named P. K Subban. The problem with the team was that they could not score goals. They were ten games above .500 yet the majority of their wins were of a 3 -2 nature. They also had problems on their hands…

Scott Gomez was signed to supply offense . He was making seven million a year and was not producing on a high level. Lars Eller was acquired in the off – season for their playoff hero Halak. Eller was supposed to be a top six forward yet it became apparent as the season went on – Lars may well be just a fourth line player. The Habs wanted to rid themselves of these two problems.

Lou and Pierre spoke for a few days and then a trade was announced.

I was sent to Montreal along with Jason Arnott , Brian Rolston , Patrick Elias and Adam Mair for Cammalleri , Gomez , Moen , Eller and Pyatt.

Habs fans were up in arms at first mostly over the loss of Cammalleri . Not knowing how Gomez would do back in New Jersey , ‘ Newhart ‘ had no option. When they saw how happy I was in a hockey environment and that I was back to my point a game career pace , they settled down and enjoyed the ‘ show ‘. Elias , Arnott , Rolston and Mair fit in great with Brian Gionta , Max Pacioretty and Pouliot while myself , Tomas Plekanec and Andrei Kostitsyn became one of the top lines in the NHL for many years. The power play was amazing , especially in my second year with the Habs. Markov returned and with Subban and the ‘ Wiz ‘ as the Montreal Canadiens’ new ‘ Big Three ‘ , it seemed as if we scored every powerplay.

The great thing about the trade was that it helped Montreal become a very good offensive team without giving up the integrity of coach Martin’s defensive system. Of course , I renegotiated my contract to allow Montreal to keep players such as the ‘ Wiz ‘ , Gill and Hamrlik. Later on my pay cut allowed the Habs to keep Price and  Subban. Markov returned with a pay cut also until he proved that his bad knee was okay.

We went on to win the Stanley Cup in 2011 and became the first repeat winner since the

Penguins and won again in 2012. All in all we won four Cups in my eight years in Montreal. I rediscovered my joy in Montreal and Kostitsyn went on to realize his potential and become a star.

I was so tired one night I went to bed early. When I awoke , I looked next to me and discovered Suzanne Pleshette , Pierre ‘  Newhart’s ‘  wife.

Was this all a dream….. ?

Habs next game is Saturday afternoon against the Rangers and then Sunday against Le Devils…..both games at 2 pm…

La Kachette is the place to be for both games and the Super Bowl  on Sunday……

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